Well I am once again in a place of deep gratitude and humility as I reflect on the last 6 days of 50th birthday celebrations.
I was quite daunted at the prospect of turning 50 without my children or family in town....and that I am single...is not where I thought I'd be at this time of my life!
What transpired this last week was deeply transformative.
I had a few days off from CPO/U of C last week, before my birthday and those empty days loomed large. Typically, I'd use the time to create something new...a balm for the soul...or fill up the schedule. I decided to try something else. I turned toward the fear of the all consuming loneliness. I sat facing it until it dissipated. I felt very vulnerable and really wanted to reach out to friends and family to ease the discomfort. I didn't. I listened deeply to the still small voice inside which provided strength in the midst of the struggle. I left the days open for grace to fill. I felt strong and calm...and very silly (as per usual).
I nurtured myself with kindness, compassion, faith and trust that all is well. I found peace there.
This is what/who showed up: Parents, brother and his family as well as my daughters were attentive. Wonderful support from coaching colleagues. Spent time with girlfriends every day - Dog walks, breakfasts and lunches....after concert shenanigans with CPO colleagues on Fri - and many many silly laughs in rehearsals (thank you Karl for allowing that space!)...wonderful dinner party on Saturday as well as thoughtful, kind video from UC students and quiet time with another friend last night.
The beauty and grace of internal and external validation leaves me in awe once again. I am so deeply grateful for my life, just as it is. Blessings and peace to you all.
I was quite daunted at the prospect of turning 50 without my children or family in town....and that I am single...is not where I thought I'd be at this time of my life!
What transpired this last week was deeply transformative.
I had a few days off from CPO/U of C last week, before my birthday and those empty days loomed large. Typically, I'd use the time to create something new...a balm for the soul...or fill up the schedule. I decided to try something else. I turned toward the fear of the all consuming loneliness. I sat facing it until it dissipated. I felt very vulnerable and really wanted to reach out to friends and family to ease the discomfort. I didn't. I listened deeply to the still small voice inside which provided strength in the midst of the struggle. I left the days open for grace to fill. I felt strong and calm...and very silly (as per usual).
I nurtured myself with kindness, compassion, faith and trust that all is well. I found peace there.
This is what/who showed up: Parents, brother and his family as well as my daughters were attentive. Wonderful support from coaching colleagues. Spent time with girlfriends every day - Dog walks, breakfasts and lunches....after concert shenanigans with CPO colleagues on Fri - and many many silly laughs in rehearsals (thank you Karl for allowing that space!)...wonderful dinner party on Saturday as well as thoughtful, kind video from UC students and quiet time with another friend last night.
The beauty and grace of internal and external validation leaves me in awe once again. I am so deeply grateful for my life, just as it is. Blessings and peace to you all.
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